GOD CAN

Who do you depend on when it seems everything you touch and do goes wrong? What do you do to keep motivated? When do you realize you need help or a backup plan? Where do you find hope and inspiration? Why would you say enough is enough… I GIVE UP?

Some of you may remember the five W’s …Who,  What, When, Where, Why and then there is How. Usually they apply to writing and journalism, but this application is about life!

In many aspects of our lives, at some point, we hit brick walls, get knocked off our feet, dumbfound and have no obvious explanation or answer for the delimma in which we find ourselves. Is that when we throw our hands up in despair? “Uh, Yea, we’re human”.  But just when you think you have no answer, you relinquish, release and let go and find the HOW.  

HE is the how in your life! He knows how to relieve the pain. He knows how to give you strength. He knows how to take your burdens.  He knows how to put the right words in your mouth when you’re face with what you consider unanswerable questions.  He knows how you will get that next meal, how you will get to work, how you will fare on that pending court date, how you will mend fences in your marriage, relationship, family dissension... So don't give up! He knows how and He Can!

Life reminds me how sweet it is to know that ‘God can’-

God can pick you up

When you’re lower than low

God can fight your battles

In struggles against the foe

God can renew that hope

When the little you had diminishes

God can complete the order and flow

from start to finish

God can allow you to exhale

when exhaustion overtakes you

God can mend the pieces

When disappointment tears apart and breaks you

He replenishes and renews your spirit

when you’ve fallen and cannot stand

This brings back to remembrance and

“It’s good to know, God can.”

Fresh Air

Children. Their innocence should be cherished. Children. We should not let innocence perish. 

How refreshing it is to hold a newborn baby... so tiny, so fragile, so delicate and soft to the touch. They are so innocent to the goings-on of horrific things in the world and sometimes in their immediate world. They did not come into your space by their choosing. Like an innocent bystander, they are the victims of their environment. As newborns, they are as fresh as the air we chose to inhale.

On a personal note, children are one of my weaknesses. I've always striven to uplift them, to uncover and expose their hidden talents, to encourage them to be even more than what they think they can be; yet, keep them in a box, a safe-haven whereas they wouldn't be subjected to the harsh reality of this world- kinda contradictory, huh? Lol

And as my own kids have grown beyond me immediately telling them how or what to do, I believe they respect the ideas I may still throw out for the grasping. Children are an extension of us. What do you see in the "little you's and little me's"? Don't we want to display OUR very best? Even when a child grows, I would still love to believe deeply embedded is their innocence and fresh take on life...  

The extension of my genes- grand children, is minute in number (only one), but gigantic in character! 

G-Whiz

My G-Baby n me

A fine combination, you see

I connect to him

he’s connected to me

An incognizant attachment

au-to-ma-tic-ally

Doesn't matter the distance

short, long, spo-ra-dic-ally

My G-baby n me

As a matter 'o fact you will see

that as time goes on

and as his growth responds

there will always reside

     a deep bond inside

No matter how many miles we are apart

we are deeply connected; undeniable

For when we get together

after being apart

for what seems like forever,

to a drum our two hearts will beat

To a love that will keep--

My G-baby with me

 My G-baby always n me

-PJ Payne

Pocket Change

Remember when 'one cent' was once spent! Nowadays a penny is barely used, unless as a last resort to make up the difference in a purchase. Usually a person uses it as TAX- that's what it's good for now.

As a child, can you remember when your daddy would give you his pocket-change, or when you were outside playing and you'd find a penny on the ground?  If you found a few of those, you'd think you were rich! Those were the 'simpler times.'  In today's fast-paced society, people actually just step over that lucky penny.
As times change, so does 'change' change. My own kids didn't like pocket change! "Too much trouble" states one of my sons, "too heavy in my pocket"! Therefore if I didn't find his change on the floor and pick it up, it would be lost. Oh, but as they've grown into young adults and are earning their living, they've changed their tune. Now that son can easily say "I got the tax"! Lol. They may still throw change aside, but eventually gather it in one place or container for those 'rainy days'.

Pondering over pocket change, I think about the penny, over the years that little copper coin has been referenced in may ways- mostly to describe something inexpensive or small. Here are a few Penny cliches I've heard:

A penny saved is a penny earned refers to the idea that saving money is just as important as earning it. According to thrifty savers, a penny saved will grow (when invested properly).
A penny pincher is someone who uses coupons and other saving tactics religiously — to the point of being fanatical about reducing costs, as with pinching your pennies which implies that the person is watching their spending; bargain hunting. 

If you’re experiencing a bad turn of events, then you might find yourself without two pennies to rub together. A common phrase muttered by those who tend to spend their money as soon as they get it.

On a different note. a pretty penny is used to explain how much something cost you, especially when that item was expensive or extravagant. 

And now I can say 'a penny for your thoughts' on all of this.What's your pocket change worth? I will quote the famous radio/television personality, Howard Stern, by saying "I am worth every penny"!

No Bartering

I wasn’t supposed to know. I wasn’t supposed to find out until now. I wasn’t supposed to know. This was about His timing and how-

He wanted me to grasp

He wanted me to ask

He wanted me to depend

He wanted me to defend

what HE stood for in my life

and when it was all said and done

He wanted me to know that

He was the One!

Not because ‘I’ did anything great,

so He would make life easier-

NO, He wanted me to be tried and tested.

He wanted me to know,

He was the One

who allowed me to evolve 

through these experiences

While being tossed to and fro

And learn lessons

in the midst of the strain,

but not in vain.

And as I come out of it and gain, 

I would grow

And just pay it forward,

as I go

God doesn’t make a deal. “God is the REAL DEAL”!

"I AM"

To know me is to love me for who I AM.

I AM a self-starter, but not a self-motivator, if that makes sense. I can start something new- "I mean just kick it off with a Big Bang", but I require outside motivation to keep it going. I'm like a cup of coffee, I start off quite hot, then as I cool off, I need to be refreshed and "stirred up" to keep me moving. I AM a lover of all, especially children, as I love their innocence, honesty and purity.  I AM naturally excitable and giggly anyway, so with my Cup 'o Joe, the sky is literally the limit!! Lol.

When an epiphany hits, I am fired up and in production mode. But when I get to a cooling off or stopping point, I can get stuck. The ideas stop flowing; the passion subsides; yes, the cause for which I am doing what I’m doing gets vague; like “and why am I doing this”?  That cause needs to be resurrected or revisited. Usually my initial intention is on target, I just get lost in transition. There is not always someone around to bounce my ideas off of or get me back on track. 

That’s when I exhale with my brew. In  an aura of serenity, surrounded by the things I love, making sure there is always a pen nearby… I write.

I AM blessed!

And I guess I realized it

but never said it 

with such credence before

I  AM blessed!

When I relax

I open my mind to

opened doors.

When I enter in

no telling what’s coming out.

There I can figure

What I am all about

And in retrospect

Let it all

Pour out

I AM blessed!

Got ideas to spare

When stirred up

and when used

I know I’m going somewhere

And yield blessings 

to someone else

I may require a little 'stirring' sometimes, 

but to know me is to love me for who I AM.

Out of Order!

Preconceived ideas of how certain things should happen in life, should fall in place or should stay, stir in each of our heads. For instance an education, a job, marriage and children are idealistically put in that order.  But what happens when things are stirred up and doesn't happen as we think they should? We become disappointed, disillusioned, discombobulated... the feeling is that of failure; nothing is going right; rightly destined for condemnation and disaster.
All of this may sound 'over the top,' but some of us are very passionate about order, structure and sequence in our lives.

"I'm a living witness to all of this!" It was evident when I became an adult and had a family. Not necessarily to my dismay, things were initially out of order. I had what we now call a 'blended family.' Basically mine, yours, and ours... a beautiful mixture and combination. In our home the motto was 'A place for everything and everything in its place,' and I took that to another level. My youngest son recently reminded me of this very thing. I felt that having seven people in a household at any given time MUST have order and organization. And not just at that time, I even had each kid's future planned. Whew!! But guess what - my life was in shambles and unbeknownst to me, I made us all miserable!
You see, I've learned that a lot of what we become and do in life stems from how we were raised. At an early age, I was labeled as 'the one who can', the one who would make a difference. Therefore, I felt that I needed to live up to what was expected of me.  I thought, in every aspect of my life, I needed perfection; I had something to prove... but to whom?
My peers? My family? My friends? Myself?
No! I had nothing to prove, or please anybody but my God! He wants us to put Him first and acknowledge Him in all our doings. He wants us to seek Him first (Matthew 6: 33). When I truly internalized that, I was as peace with me.

I've learned also that it is great to set goals and ambitions, and what enhances it all is when you have encouragement from family, friends and mentors who truly have your well-being at heart.
As I look back over my young adult life, I should have adopted the motto, 'A place for Him and all else would be in order'. And He is not finished with me yet. :-)

Who's Afraid?

Fear! It’s all about a void and the unknown; not knowing and having the foresight of what’s to come.  When one undertakes an endeavor, with it lurks a questionable future, its expected results and then tackling the unexpected. When you don’t have control of an outcome, the yays and nays or its ups and downs cultivate a sense of helplessness… ultimately, a sense of being alone. But you’re not alone! You may not be able to control or prolong an outcome, but you’re never alone. 

I have endured numerous occasions whereas I’ve been soooo afraid of what was going to happen, I completely threw myself in to a tizzy that physically made me ill. I considered it a panic attack (which I finally admitted to) Lol. What I've learned through some of these experiences is that fear tears away at the strongest of us all. 'Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the.' Isiah 41: 10, KJV. 

Fear saturates the mind, so you make wrong calls. But God doesn’t give us the spirit of fear.

Just recently I was asked to do a presentation of a new project which I have been working on for some time. I have to admit that I am the world’s best at procrastinating. I did everything else I deemed more IMPORTANT than preparation for my presentation. And yes, I rescheduled it (a couple of times)! Of course this was just another form of procrastination of the inevitable. 

So, 'the day' was finally upon me. I realized I was physically sick; headache, dizziness, insomnia, nausea, just to name a few… I was in the midst of a full-blown panic attack! I called on my prayer warriors; “Girls, pleeease pray for me!” I am positive they did, because that’s what we do., but I also had to see my condition for what it was. I had literally put too much on my plate and just couldn’t ‘stomach’ anymore! Thus, an anxiety attack. You see I was so anxious to know more about my outcome and did not adequately prepare myself.  I was so anxious to see all of my positive works in motion, I became overwhelmed.

Although I requisitioned prayers on my behalf, I had to get to the root of what was really going on with me, so ‘I’ went to the One '...from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth’. Psalm 121: 1-2; KJV. 

I realized I was not alone in whatever I embarked upon. Don’t be afraid. You are not alone.