Out of Order!

Preconceived ideas of how certain things should happen in life, should fall in place or should stay, stir in each of our heads. For instance an education, a job, marriage and children are idealistically put in that order.  But what happens when things are stirred up and doesn't happen as we think they should? We become disappointed, disillusioned, discombobulated... the feeling is that of failure; nothing is going right; rightly destined for condemnation and disaster.
All of this may sound 'over the top,' but some of us are very passionate about order, structure and sequence in our lives.

"I'm a living witness to all of this!" It was evident when I became an adult and had a family. Not necessarily to my dismay, things were initially out of order. I had what we now call a 'blended family.' Basically mine, yours, and ours... a beautiful mixture and combination. In our home the motto was 'A place for everything and everything in its place,' and I took that to another level. My youngest son recently reminded me of this very thing. I felt that having seven people in a household at any given time MUST have order and organization. And not just at that time, I even had each kid's future planned. Whew!! But guess what - my life was in shambles and unbeknownst to me, I made us all miserable!
You see, I've learned that a lot of what we become and do in life stems from how we were raised. At an early age, I was labeled as 'the one who can', the one who would make a difference. Therefore, I felt that I needed to live up to what was expected of me.  I thought, in every aspect of my life, I needed perfection; I had something to prove... but to whom?
My peers? My family? My friends? Myself?
No! I had nothing to prove, or please anybody but my God! He wants us to put Him first and acknowledge Him in all our doings. He wants us to seek Him first (Matthew 6: 33). When I truly internalized that, I was as peace with me.

I've learned also that it is great to set goals and ambitions, and what enhances it all is when you have encouragement from family, friends and mentors who truly have your well-being at heart.
As I look back over my young adult life, I should have adopted the motto, 'A place for Him and all else would be in order'. And He is not finished with me yet. :-)

Who's Afraid?

Fear! It’s all about a void and the unknown; not knowing and having the foresight of what’s to come.  When one undertakes an endeavor, with it lurks a questionable future, its expected results and then tackling the unexpected. When you don’t have control of an outcome, the yays and nays or its ups and downs cultivate a sense of helplessness… ultimately, a sense of being alone. But you’re not alone! You may not be able to control or prolong an outcome, but you’re never alone. 

I have endured numerous occasions whereas I’ve been soooo afraid of what was going to happen, I completely threw myself in to a tizzy that physically made me ill. I considered it a panic attack (which I finally admitted to) Lol. What I've learned through some of these experiences is that fear tears away at the strongest of us all. 'Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the.' Isiah 41: 10, KJV. 

Fear saturates the mind, so you make wrong calls. But God doesn’t give us the spirit of fear.

Just recently I was asked to do a presentation of a new project which I have been working on for some time. I have to admit that I am the world’s best at procrastinating. I did everything else I deemed more IMPORTANT than preparation for my presentation. And yes, I rescheduled it (a couple of times)! Of course this was just another form of procrastination of the inevitable. 

So, 'the day' was finally upon me. I realized I was physically sick; headache, dizziness, insomnia, nausea, just to name a few… I was in the midst of a full-blown panic attack! I called on my prayer warriors; “Girls, pleeease pray for me!” I am positive they did, because that’s what we do., but I also had to see my condition for what it was. I had literally put too much on my plate and just couldn’t ‘stomach’ anymore! Thus, an anxiety attack. You see I was so anxious to know more about my outcome and did not adequately prepare myself.  I was so anxious to see all of my positive works in motion, I became overwhelmed.

Although I requisitioned prayers on my behalf, I had to get to the root of what was really going on with me, so ‘I’ went to the One '...from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth’. Psalm 121: 1-2; KJV. 

I realized I was not alone in whatever I embarked upon. Don’t be afraid. You are not alone. 

That Microscopic Seed!

Too many times we forget to correlate who we are with where we came from, biologically… what is our make-up? It is our whole being.

In this day and age, there is a lot of focus on ‘baby daddies and baby mamas’. Unfortunately the connotation that goes along with it is usually negative. But, disregarding the hype, we’re talking about what constitutes the making of a child … boy or girl.

Scientifically speaking, Chromosomes;

In humans each cell normally contains 23 pairs of chromosomes (23 from each gamete) totaling 46. Twenty-two of these pairs, called autosomes, look the same in both males and females. The 23^rd pair, the sex chromosome, differs between males and females.

DNA- Deoxyribonucleic Acid is a self -replicating material present in nearly all living organisms as the main constituent of chromosomes. It is the carrier of genetic information. It is also the fundamental and distinctive UNCHANGEABLE characteristics of something or someone.

So, no matter what people think…

You’re not about, what other folks say. What you are about is your DNA! Just who you are and what you do is 'relatively' diagnosed; it’s what’s IN you.

Other folks can’t dictate your being! Other folks see your ‘matter’ without seeing it.  Because the DNA is deeply embedded creating our surfaces that are predestined already. Yes the blood runs deep-flowing genes inside, so that man can’t deny it, run from it and hide.

And when some say “You look ‘jus like yo Daddy,” or “You got yo Mamma’s ways.” no need to get mad at it! Because it’s all in you, the DNA, that is.

That microscopic seed. “And ‘tis what ‘tis!”

The Light Bulb

As a professional, whether an athlete, speaker, photographer, doctor, writer, dancer and so on… has there ever been a time in your career when you have totally drawn a blank in the midst of what to do when you do it? In MOST cases, there is no room for mistakes. But we're human! Imagine an athlete, let’s just say a football player, who unexpectedly intercepts the ball in a big game. For whatever reason, he’s discombobulated and of course, all eyes are on him. Fans are yelling and screaming and he takes off running... in the wrong direction. Well we know the rest of that story…

Or a speaker- you’re expected to speak to hundreds of individuals and your colleagues are counting on you to ‘bring it’ and in the midst, you become clueless! 

A designer- you're having to show a layout or a physical project, however you have a deadline… you have no idea at that moment what you're going to present, so your back is against the wall!

Believe me when I say, we have all had this type of experience at one time or another. We chalk it up to nerves, procrastination, too much on our plates or in some instances just plain dumbfounded… drawing a BLANK.

Then all of a sudden, there it is! You’ve got it! Things are coming back into focus, the fog is dissipating, clouds are moving around; the sky is visible and YES! A light bulb turns on in your head and it’s all bright and as clear as day. Whew! You say “thank you Jesus”, because you know it was nobody but HIM.

Well, as a writer, I have had far too many of these moments in my busy life and this is my take on it.

You see, just when I think there’s nothing left to write, my brainwaves kick in and my fingers began to type. Then all those thoughts come back to remembrance; my expressions may be unorthodox and sometimes relentless. I thought I didn’t have much else to say, and then passion and emotions came in to play. I'm expounding and exuding my kinetic energy. Freelanced brainwaves, empowered poetic literacy; even jabbering and gibbering sometimes making no sense, but expressing my inner soul at my mind’s expense.

So just when I think there’s not much more to say, I’ll let my fingers do the thinking. They’ll make a way. I'll sit and tell my tales 'til my heart is content, or 'til the light-bulb goes out. Then I’ll know…

“Message sent”.

No Deposit, No Return

Some of you may remember as a child, you couldn’t wait until your parent or an adult finished drinking a coke to grab their EMPTY bottle. Well, those bottles were like a precious commodity back in the day! I can remember some of the neighborhood kids walking up and down the streets looking for empty bottles and when they found one, you would think they’d hit the jackpot! Oh What Joy!! Lol.

Those glass bottles back then were worth pennies, if you returned them to the ‘corner store’. But if you redeemed enough of them, you could jingle, jingle your pockets, all the way home… unless you spent it all up at the store (which was usually the case).

A Little History:

Back before disposable bottles, you’d pay a deposit on the bottle when you bought a soft drink. You’d take it home and then take the empty bottle back with you the next time you went to the grocery store. They’d give you back your deposit. The grocery store would return the bottle to the bottler, where they’d clean it, wash it, refill it, cap it, and send it back out to the stores.

Coca-cola experimented with them in the ’60s, and then quit using them until they brought them back in a few areas in the ’70s. The reason why returnable bottles persisted until the 1990s is because some of the established smaller bottlers didn’t want to change their equipment, which was very costly to make the transition. So they continued using returnable bottles until about the 1990s, when they were finally forced to go to no-deposit bottles.

My point:

Life has plenty of hard knocks to go around! But after you’ve been around the block a few times, you have quite a few lessons learned and mastered. If you don’t put the blood, sweat and tears into the visions and dreams you have, you have nothing to show for it.

I’ve heard many clichés about ‘old money’ and ‘new money’. Old money usually pertains to riches or money that is inherited or passed down from generation to generation. The recipient has it made; probably was GIVEN everything and didn’t really work a day in his or her life.

New money is monies that are gained through hard work and sacrifice… from early morning rising, calloused hands, aching backs, headaches… need I go on? 

Who do you think can appreciate the value of their dollar the most? In each case, there were deposits made, so to speak, but what was the GAIN? Much the same as what you instill in a child in their tender and conforming years. “Confirming what is said and confirming what is due. That which is deposited, usually comes back to YOU”.