Thursday, June 21, 2018

Are You There?

Do you ever look around and find yourself suddenly having nothing to do? That may sound outrageous in this time and age of devices and mechanisms, which can totally occupy your time, but I'm speaking of having something worthy, time-consuming, worthwhile like a project of sorts.
I find myself there sometimes when I become ‘stuck’ in my brain with an on-going event and need something fresh and new. If you’re like me and some others I know, you bore quickly. If you lose interest, you throw it aside like dirty laundry… ready for something fresh, clean NEW! You may have plenty to do in your ‘now’ pile, but you need to begin a ‘then’ basket. Just an inkling, an idea, a burst of excitement to spur yourself on; give you incentive; stir up your creative juices.
Well, unfortunately, I’m there!

I just don’t know what to do with myself
I don’t know just what to do with myself
I piddle and piddle and twiddle my thumbs
Cause I just am not through with myself

Seems I’m more than this
Seems I’m bored with this
And can’t find my comfort zone

Seems my life’s not full
And my plate is half empty
And my actions are foreign and unknown

Seems I possess so much more
Than what’s visible to the eye
Unconceivable, can’t be put into words

Seems people can’t understand
What’s inside me is vast
Its enormity, a magnitude so absurd

You see, we all have
Untapped territories
that are in need
of a little purging
I pray when I’m
finally pricked,
My safe harbor
will dissipate
with urging

I just don’t know what to do with my self
I don’t know just what to do with myself
My day may end, but my mind begins again
As someday I’ll get through to myself
PJ Payne

Thursday, June 14, 2018


It's okay if things don't happen in the order that you think they should. It's okay if you can't check everything off of that checklist... the one that you made 'ten times over' because you kept changing your mind. And it's okay if your priorities became minorities. It's okay if your don'ts became your do's and whys become why not's. Or even, if IS's are now if only's! Stuff gets turned around-- topsy-turvy, tumultuous, and chaotic. And as unbelievable as it seems, it turns out fine. But, whose orders are you following?
Related image
Life really does not have an order... the universe speaks for us as things change continuously.
In No Particular Order --
Order dictates graduate high school before entering College.
Order dictates get married before you have a baby.
Better still, order dictates be a virgin when you get married.
Order dictates that you should not be a grandmother before you're 30.
Order dictates you only eat 'breakfast foods' in the mornings, 'at the table.'
Order dictates a baby should crawl before he walks.
Order dictates a child should do BETTER or become MORE  than his/her parents.
Order dictates a 'Presidential' President!
Order dictates a MAN is the Head of his household.
Order even dictates a chicken 'in real time' comes from an egg.
Order dictates a Minister, ministers!
Order dictates you're GROWN at 21.
Order dictates parents leave this earth, before their children.

Life says differently...

We put too much on ourselves. Our expectations are sooo elevated, WE can't even reach them-- and we expect our kids and even peers to do so... just because we demand order. A never-ending cycle. Pssssh!! But Get over it! Sure we want to just JUMP, have FAITH. We have the audacity to advise others to do the same. God also graced each of us with a little thing called common sense... for women, it's 'intuition.' Use as needed. No over thinking.
I used to be OCD! Yeah me! I guess I still have traces lingering (naturally) but believe me, 'I got over it'. When my sanity was at risk, my peace of mind, my time, my finances, my family - I crashed. Yet, I got up! God allows things that our minute minds can't fathom happening, to happen. Sure, we think stuff should be in order... all prim, proper and a certain way. Usually, they're traditions. Again, it's okay if things don't happen in the order that you think they should.

Because even our mere existence is continuously changing around us, we may not grasp why. Does that matter? In the end, it happens in His order and His way.
Just let it happen! ORDER UPwards!

PJ Payne