Sunrise Coffee

Don’t you just love early mornings? I do! I love it when it feels as though the rest of the world is still fast asleep and you're the only one who's awake. Everyone and everything feels unreal. Dreamlike. You kinda forget about your problems because for now, it's just you, your brew, your peace of mine, and your Lord. The world is indifferent, irrelevant… and then that gorgeous sunrise. Breathtaking! These are moments you want to capture, hold close and put in a box. Your keepsake moment!

"Serenity in its simplest form."

You are inspired to do so many things at this time. Your meditation takes you to a place of comfort, experiencing release and relief, emotionally.  You feel like the sky is the limit—you can conquer ANYTHING! Is it the Coffee Fix? Oh, what a feeling! You are able to trouble-shoot anything that is problematic. There is hope, optimism, anticipation, and 'great expectations.' You are Superwoman, Superman, and super-duper! Happiness glistens on the horizon. All things are possible… at least in your mind.

And then the sun becomes Completely visible and the door opens…

LIFE! 

Blessings,

PJ Payne

Navigation

As I drive and ride sometimes, I just exhale. I absorb beautiful surroundings. It's about feelings, auras, and states-of-mind. Although some may not envision the beauty that I see, I see miracles! I behold something and someone bigger than mere existence. Miracles of a new morning, a new day, dewdrops on leaves, bursting sun, hustle and bustle of traffic, and so on… I see and feel the blessing of just having a vehicle to ride in; even something as simple as being able to see! So yes, I enjoy the ride.

Listen for a minute. You know, I’m not even consumed with actually driving, but just liberty in mental capacity; subtly focusing on the moment and not problems I can’t do anything about. How sweet is the taste of being footloose and fancy-free! See, I’m not in control of my destiny, what’s in my reach, in my hand, in my grasp, for that is His. Less we forget that God is in control of everything!! Where we go, how we go, and all that we go through are not really our decision. We think we have that control, but we don’t have a clue. We don’t have a plan. 

I recently listened to a message that pricked my spirit. ‘Our trials are fixed fights. All we have to do is turn it over to God.’  And then the speaker reminded us of 1 Peter 4: 12-13; think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you… rejoice as partakers of Christ’s suffering. It’s about grace, suffering and giving God the glory. He has already worked it out.

I am convinced that many of my rides are about trials and storms. In many of his sermons, our Pastor reminds us that storms are always raging. We are either coming out of a storm, currently in a storm or about to go into a storm. But God has the navigation under control because He has already fixed it. All we need to do is ride the waves. Humanly, we are powerless, no matter what we THINK we are able to do… it’s all about God. 

So find your pleasure. Find your peace. You will find your freedom when you allow The Navigator.

The Ride

Seems I wanna ride

Wanna ‘scape by-ways and hide

Wanna, through highways, confide

Wanna spread my secret wide

Of my emotions, I’ll confess

Of my inner being, express

Of life’s storms, turmoil, and tests

Of how I cope and try my best

To keep at bay the insanity

To keep away the profanity

To know “this too shall pass”

To know freedom, alas

Just sit back and ride

Till dispersion is free, not frugal

Till destiny cannot be Googled

Till there’s room for my scruples

Till there’s peace.  How do you do it?

“Seems I wanna just ride”

Blessings,

PJ Payne

Perfect Attendance

Growing up I've always heard the term 'Experience is the best teacher.'  During those years, I didn't take that quote to heart.  When I surmised ‘teaching’ I automatically referenced it to school or books.  Sure, relatively teaching is about school and in my family we were really focused on education.  School was mandatory! I remember how we would compete to see who could achieve the most perfect attendance awards. But in this statement, the subject matter is ‘experience.’ It is the teacher in the school of life.

Those who knew me then recognized that I had a joyous, happy, and excitable attitude about everything. I was dubbed Miss Positive. I saw the glass half full, instead of half empty.  Some seemed to think that I didn’t have a worry in the world. Maybe it was because I was always there for the other person. You know the type you can count on for a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, and a sounding board. And to boot, I was trustworthy and a confidante. Sounds amazing, right? That was and still is my character, but “oh the experiences” I’ve endured.  Visibly I was the pillar of strength.  Deep down I HID. But, I had an escape!

Let me give you a peek into my upbringing.

I had a STRONG single mom who took care of all six of her children. From the outside, you didn’t see the struggle. Her statement to us was “Never let’em see you sweat! Be steadfast and stand tall in what you believe.”  I understood that completely and carried it into my adulthood and family. Yes, just like the next person, I had problems but just didn’t show it. I didn’t carry everything on my sleeves. I didn't have a permanent print of a frown on my forehead. It seemed I always wanted to portray a zest for life, renowned strength, and the epitome of positivity. That was the person I wanted to exude-- to be visible to my peers.

But, deep inside

But, hidden within

But, to only my best friend

But, my bad experiences

But, to the only One

whom I can depend

But God

The key that unlocks the door

to my escape-

He is my refuge

I said all of that to relay this message. As our children and grandchildren return to school and classroom settings, we know that peer pressure will be very impactful. But keep in mind that even the bad experiences will help to mold and make them into who they will someday become. Of utmost importance is endurance and how they handle the pressure. Admit it. Life as some of us knew it, is quite different now. And like us, they must and will go through things we cannot shield them from or put a band-aid on. Yes, school and perfect attendance are important, but life experiences will be the ultimate lessons. So teach them something they cannot grasp at school. Teach them Jesus! He has perfect attendance. 

Blessings,

PJ Payne

How?

Who do you depend on when it seems everything you touch and do goes wrong? What do you do to keep yourself motivated? When do you realize you need help or a backup plan? Where do you find hope and inspiration? Why would you say enough is enough-- I can’t do this anymore?  I GIVE UP!

Some of you may remember the five W’s in school … Who, What, When, Where, Why and then there is How. Usually, they apply to writing and journalism. We were taught that they are the research and building materials to getting answers to a story. But this application can also be about life’s story!

In many aspects of our lives, at some point, we hit brick walls, get knocked off our feet, dumbfound and have no obvious explanation or answer for the dilemma in which we find ourselves. Is that when we throw our hands up in despair? “Uh, yea, we’re human”.  But just when you think you have no answer and you’ve hit rock bottom, you relinquish, release, and let go. Then you find the ‘HOW’ of your story.  

HE is the 'how' in your life! He knows how to relieve the pain. He knows how to give you strength. He knows how to take your burdens. He knows how to put the right words in your mouth when you don’t know what to say. He is your answer when you’re faced with what you consider unanswerable questions.

I don’t know about anyone else, but when I remove ‘self’ out of the way as I seek answers, my path is so much clearer. My daily walk reminds me of how sweet it is to know that ‘God can’.

God can pick you up when you’re lower than low.

God can fight your battles in struggles against the foe.

God can renew that hope when the little you had diminishes.

God can complete the order and flow of things, from start to finish.

God can allow you to exhale when you can’t breathe and exhaustion overtakes you.

He can mend the pieces when disappointment tears apart and breaks you.

He replenishes and renews your spirit, when you’ve fallen and cannot stand.

All this brings back to remembrance and it’s good to know God can.

We literally live ‘who, what, when, where and why.’ But when we truly let Him write our story, we need not ask, ‘How’?

Blessings,

PJ Payne

Leave Your Mark!

Think about it! What have you done or what is it that you do that impacts another person’s life or even his or her day?

Some years back, I worked in an environment in which the air was so thick with negativity, you couldn’t cut it with a knife. Even my coffee-breaks were ‘broken!’

I am a happy go lucky person, 90% of the time. I LOVE TO LAUGH!  Now a lot of it may have a li’l bit to do with my coffee habits, but I am a Very positive person. Kinda 'outta the box!'

One day I walked in to work and spoke in my cheerful manner. I gleefully said “Good Morning!” Nothing’s wrong with that, right? Well, of the 5 to 7 individuals who were in ear reach, only two reacted. I think every bit of energy I had in my body was immediately drained from me.  I felt as though I needed to check my breath. I was positive I bruised my teeth, even ‘after’ my morning coffee. And then my second cup of coffee had no immediate effect on my demeanor. For at least an hour, I was very quiet.

I understand that we ALL have ‘stuff’ going on in our lives—some unimaginable. And it stands to reason as to why ones persona may cast bits of quietness, anger or sadness. But NOT all the time!

That day I had had enough! I wanted my actions to ‘make them’ and not let them ‘make me!’ I could not and would not work in that type of environment for the rest of the week. It was at that time, I resolved for the rest of the day that I would find something positive to say to, or about each individual that I personally encountered. Not only that, I would throw an irresistible infectious smile. LOL.

Needless to say, my efforts were received very positively. I was even asked in which department I worked. It made me feel better about myself also.

So to all of you, do this for me. Take time for the rest of the day, or even begin on tomorrow, to say or do a positive deed…  There’s no better feeling when you've made a positive mark.

Be distinctive,

make your mark

no matter what

others say

They can't see 

your vision

don't know your thoughts

or your way

You're set apart

from a rigid format

the natural scheme

of things

Unique, relative

but not the same

You're

'Outta Tha Box' 

When you

Leave Your Mark!

Blessings,

PJ Payne

Fix Me, Coffee

Seems like the faster I go, the further behind I get!  There are Never enough hours in the day; enough days in the week; or enough weeks in the month. “A schedule? What's that?"

I used to pride myself on being organized. Yeah, I was the one who had all of the organizational skills that were down to the ‘T’. My kids can vouch for the fact that they had duties each day.  There was a time for this and a time for that... I even scheduled 'play times!’ Needless to say,  I was the organizational guru!!

Our lives were full of paste-it notes and sticky-notes.

I think it all derives from the fact that I was brought up in a mid to large size family. And we did have organization because my mom worked outside the house as well as at home when she was home…  

At that time, people didn’t have a title for a person who basically did what it took to make ends meet. it was just

‘survival’ for a single mother with 6 children.  Now we call ourselves ‘Multi-taskers or Entrepreneurs. 

But do you realize that coffee has been around forever, as the ‘Fix It’ drink?  It was, even then, the Go To drink. But as I can recall, mostly the older folks drank it. They wouldn’t give it to the kids- saying we couldn’t have any. LOL. I chuckle now as I think back to those days.

Yes, they really thought of it as an ‘adult drink!’

Let me recount their reasoning—

You are too young.

Coffee is gonna make you nervous.

You can’t drink that! Git outta ‘grown folk’s business.

Coffee drinkers smoke cigarettes too, so you don’t need to smoke.

People drink coffee to sober up.

Black coffee is a Man’s drink.

Coffee is gonna stain your teeth.

You can’t drink coffee. It will keep you up ALL night!

It’s only for us (adults). It’s too expensive.

Coffee will burn you.

Coffee will make your breath stink.

Boys (men) don’t like girls (women) who drink coffee.” They’re fast!”

The list can go on….

My how times have changed! Now we LIVE for this ‘drink of choice!’ And it is ageless, literally, from teenagers to adults. It comes in all types of strengths, flavors, caffeinated or decaf, crystalized—any way you can think of, with a million and one uses. You can do ‘shots’! Shoot, people even use it as cures and remedies.
I definitely need it to fix me in every aspect of my life! Had a bad day? I indulge in a cup of my brew. Can't do without it;  mornings, noonday, or evening, The day just goes better when you've had your fix! Is that why parents didn't want children to 'drink of the bitter cup' so to speak?  I guess the age-old secret was 'it was the FIX,' even back then!

And now... Coffee Has Arrived!

So, “Fix Me, Coffee and Jesus!” Not necessarily in that order.

Blessings,

PJ Payne

The Simple Things

We never know from one day to the next what type of day we will wake up and see. Questionable still is if we will wake up at all. Nothing is in our control, yet we take for granted the little things we enjoy without the tiniest bit of effort on our part. But today miraculously came anyway. What did you do to make it happen? We know the answer to that question… nothing whatsoever.

I speak of ‘hands-off’ blessings we are awarded because we need to wake up and smell the roses. Some of us are very fortunate to sail through the storms in our lives unscathed; others are not. A prime example is the fact that we have been inundated with rain- physically evident storms. Some people were not affected as others encountered having to be rescued, losing vehicles, and even homes flooded.

Metaphorically speaking, we all sometimes wake up to the rain in our lives. Whatever you are going through, someone else is going through something greater. “Concentrate on the rainbow after the storm.” This was my awakening one afternoon ‘after the rain.’

Just riding along one day, singing our little song

My grandson exclaimed, "Look a rainbow! It is sooo long!"

I glanced up to the sky, as I drove against the wind

"Let's follow it, he exclaimed, and see where it ends!"

Of course, I looked at him and said

"I don't think so, my son.

The end of a rainbow? Sweetie, there is none!"

Then the beauty of its colors

made curiosity get the best of me

As we drove I took pictures

and really wanted to see

Just where this rainbow might end

And of course, I knew we’d never find it

But the excitement on his face

made me feel adventurous, yet dumbfounded

To think- a child has this type of curiosity

And I've seen rainbows, many times over

I took its grandeur for granted

Never thought twice about it

Then I reminisced the childhood song

'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'

I knew it all was only fantasy

But my goodness, who knows?

Just where does this rainbow end?

So I told him about 'the pot of gold'

But that just made him even more excited

And said, "Let's go, let's go, let’s go!"

Through all of this, I was laughing

and delighted to know, as we sang

That this little escapade was our adventure

Free at will... The Simple Things

Blessings,

PJ Payne

The Test

We go through tests each and every day of our lives.  Whether hard or easy, life teaches us. When things get really hard or stressful, don't wonder or feel you are all alone. He's unseen but speaks loudly! Listen and look for the signs!

When you are going through

something hard and wonder where is

God, 
...remember the teacher is

always quiet during a test.

Wake-up Call

Do you sometimes wonder why things are happening to you and you don't have any answers? But then after everything happens you look back and say, “But God.” I did not realize that storms that I’ve been going through were going to allow me to help someone else.

Without any notification, I found myself having car issues that I was NOT ready for.  After a recent accident, which I won’t elaborate on ‘whose fault it was, I found myself becoming complacent. You know when things are going great for you and you settle your mind, your spirit—just get comfortable in your own little world.  Well, my little piece of ‘Heaven on earth’ got infiltrated by a few disruptions.

A warning light had been coming on in my vehicle. I initially ignored it, but it became progressively worse and began to interfere with different functions such as the speed dropping as I drove.  After trying to brainstorm it with my ‘mechanically inclined’ son, we were able to reset it. To say the least, that did not FIX the problem and I had to do what I dreaded doing… take it to be serviced. You know how we are always trying to get around the obvious; not wanting to disrupt ‘routine.’

So I finally had it towed in and found myself having to Uber to get around. Well, poor, poor li

l ole me, right? Through all of this, I had to get off of my ‘high horse’ or ‘majestic throne,’ and deal with others… My world was NOT my own, because I needed to be patient and depend on someone else for something as simple- to me, at least to me, like a ride to a grocery store...

To say the least, for the past few days I have been an ear for people who have been going through some issues. From a semi-homeless family to a father who JUST found he had a daughter, after 33 years, who had been put up for adoption. And I must also add the young gentleman whose wife had kidney failure and doctors pronounced her dead after she blacked out. His fervent prayer and pushing the medical team to revive her was miraculous. After revival, they said she would not function because her brain was without oxygen too long… she is now out of the coma but during that time he found she had been cheating for a year and a half.

When I look at their situation I think to myself I am not going through anything in comparison. I thank God for where I am now because I don't know if I would have the strength to endure what they are having to endure. And guess what they just needed a listening ear. But, their issues and problems have given me an eye-opening experience. This is not about me or them this is about God working in all of our lives. The Uber drivers, the wrecker towing person, they all had horrific stories. And mine may not have been what theirs was, but God was allowing me to see that what I'm going through somebody else is going through much, much worse.

MY question. To whom do we trust? When was the last time you had a wake-up call?

Peripheral

I saw this today…

A man on a corner

The man had a sign

The sign said, ‘Need Help,

Please Help!’

Tattered clothing

Raggedy boots; no strings

A dirty cup

Unkempt hair

A slothful walk

A seemingly dampened spirit

Broken

Many passers-by

Stares

Yet, he couldn’t reach some folks

A dismal outlook…

And as I slowly drove, I eventually got a closer look.  But it seems the closer I came, like those who were ahead of me, I didn’t want to have any eye contact with him. You see, probably like my ‘forerunners’, I felt that if I would look at him in his eyes, I would feel obligated to respond in some form or fashion. His appearance was a directive of the mindset society has attached to individuals on street corners. There are preconceived notions that they are all cons, thieves, druggies, and any other belittling label that can be an assessment of their character.

So for a minute, I stared straight ahead. My characterization was stoic; immobile. I continued to drive, but as I began to pass him by, from the ‘corner of my eye’, I saw his eyes.  I then turned and looked at him. Our eyes met.  I saw something deeper than his outer appearance.  Without realizing my actions, I pulled all of the change from my ashtray and a few dollars, from my purse.  I rolled my window down, as he turned and limped towards my car.  I dropped the money into his cup. He said “thank you ma-am.”

And then I saw…

A gracious nod

A toothless grin

Stark-white, bright eyes

A rigid, tall frame

A resilient stride

A glimmer of hope

My question to you all is what would you have done? How would you have reacted? Would you have followed suit and drove past him, as so many others had done? Would you have stopped and questioned him? Maybe you have already encountered someone like him. What did you do?

As for me, the very moment our eyes met, I knew it was not my place to judge him. My spirit would not allow me to pass him by with no thought of the fact that he really could be homeless, someone’s father, brother or uncle. Better still – I saw a child of God.

In its simplicity, “I thank God for Peripheral Vision!”

Distinction

Comparisons-

In life, there comes a time when an individual has to just STAND out and stand alone! Life has given man so many 'lemons' and not everyone knows how or has the strength to 'Make Lemonade,' as the common adage goes.
Instead, there are comparisons made, like Apples to Oranges. We are a comparative generation! But when I think about it, we have been compared throughout our lives from birth... "Oh, she is sooo cute," to "Ummm, isn't he a little short for his age...?"  Judgment and comparison go on throughout adulthood. What about the distinction.

Why can't people just let well enough alone and let one just 'BE'? Well, my answer to that is, man has not been able, from the beginning of time, to naturally be proactive. As humans, we need an extra push, motivation, fuel injection, because a lot of us are not self-starters. We are basically on automatic pilot, so we need a  GPS from time to time. That's what comparisons, like apples to oranges is all about, so it is not ALL bad.

"Think about it." Pick one and see. Look for the difference or likeness; firm or soft, tart or sweet, small or large, green, red, yellow or golden... not measured by seed but weight and texture, indeed... Apples to oranges, comparatively; Apples and oranges' diversities. Apples and oranges are distinctively different.

No matter how much someone is told they are like someone else, they must choose to embrace individuality comfortably. What the 'apple to oranges' - comparison of two people or things that are irreconcilably or fundamentally different does for one is make Him/Her STAND out... No bad apples. Just distinctive, even if they carry the same name.

Be Blessed,

PJ Payne

In Deeds

Have you ever wondered how it would feel to have someone do something for you ‘out of the blue...' just for no reason? No strings attached? Well, I have.

In today’s society, with all of the wrongdoers, making the headlines and outshining the ‘do righters,' it stands to reason why morale is so low and negativity prevails and is up in most cases.

And then out of nowhere comes a ray of hope that all is not as bad as it seems...

A few days ago, I was in a McDonald’s line seeking my ‘afternoon fix’ of coffee. When I don’t have my own ‘Coffee Fix” available, Mickey D is my go-to alternative. So there I was in this looong line and I would guess, this was rush hour, as a high school across the way, was just dismissing students. I had a long frustrating day, so my attitude displayed such. I thought I could get ahead of the barrage of thirst-quenching seekers, but no such luck.

It wasn’t a very cold day but to a coffee lover, does that matter?  So I crept along, contemplating getting out of the line. Only because of the two lanes, of course, I chose the slowest lane. And then I knew when I would finally place my order, I’d be the only coffee request at 3:30 pm.  So I pulled up to the kiosk and placed my order, requesting ALL of the bells and whistles of condiments I HAD to have, ‘inside’ my coffee.  And on top of that, I made sure they knew I wanted it FRESHLY brewed.  I thought to myself, the clerk would probably give me an irritated ‘worse customer I ever had look,’ when I got to the window to pay.  That expectant attitude, showed on my face as I drove up to pay. I was about to hand him my cash and he said, “It’s already paid for Ma’am.” Imagine the shock as well as total embarrassment on my face.  All I could respond with was WOW!

I can never adequately explain the emotional impact the gesture of unselfishness generosity from my anonymous ‘drive-thru’ buddy, did for me. I believe my whole demeanor changed.  My drive home was with a smile on my face. The bumper-to-bumper traffic had no bearing on me.  I had peace with my perfect brew. Thank you, God, for sending me what I needed, when I needed it. Revelations.  

I was in such disbelief of the generosity of that individual, I didn’t think to do the same- at the time.  The next afternoon, my ‘Pay It Forward’ felt liberating.

Blessings,

PJ Payne

Rise Up!!

If you have followed my blog, then you realize that I'm an early riser.  I'm like that nosey kid at Christmas who wants to get a sneak peek at the gifts before his siblings get up! I'm like that about my mornings! I want that sneak peek. Consider me selfish, but I need my mornings ALL to myself! AND not without the boost of my fresh brew and the Word! I want to see the day breaking through my window; the sun coming up, just over the horizon; hear the hustle, bustle and the stir of life all around me; horns and whistles blowing from afar... and then I physically rise up, from my 'Me' time and start my daily do's.

This morning is no different, but as I physically arose from my coffee corner, I felt a bit sluggish and melancholy. Very tearful.  When I feel like this, 'I' try to figure out the reason why I'm having what I have dubbed 'emotional -  overcasts'. I don't want God to take these feelings away from me, just give clarity and show me how to endure.
I am very hard on myself sometimes. I feel there is a reason behind everything we experience. You see, as a whole, I'm a happy person.  I am pretty healthy for my 'numbers,' lol. I am not in financial straits, Praise God! My children are doing well. So what has me feeling this way? As a pattern, this familiar emotional overload shows itself at pivotal times of the year. I checked out today's date. February 7th. I realized it is one of my favorite niece's birthday! I MUST send her a Happy Birthday video or call. Sooo, what has me feeling so down? Think PJ, think!!
"Light Bulb!"
You see, having been married for many years, my late husband and I LOVED and cherished certain holidays. Valentine's Day was at the top of the list, right beside Christmas. I now realize that Valentine's day is right around the corner. Although conscientious is that most holidays are overrated and just money-making ploys. But when that time of the year comes around and you have had life-changing experiences, that void in your life is excruciating. You can never really duplicate it, no matter what! Memories are very hard to ignore. They become innately embedded. Bottom line is 'I AM HUMAN,' so what I'm going through is not at all foreign to many who have loved and lost in any capacity, whether a breakup, divorce, or death. Although many years have passed, time does not stop the heart from skipping a beat at the very thought of US.
My take on this is "To love and have loved someone with your heart and soul is immeasurable! But today, I must continue to move forward. So on this, and each beautiful morning God graces me with, "I Still Rise Up!"

Blessings,
PJ Payne

Baffled?

We are more than halfway through the first month of this New Year and I realize as, in the past, time stands still for no one.  I revert back to a cliché I’ve heard most of my life, ‘Off with the old and on with the new.’ That should mean prioritize, right? New order; new beginnings.

Sooo, this means putting old things aside and starting fresh. Well, some people just don’t take heed easily. “Guilty!” I am beginning this year with the same BANG theory I have in the past, no matter what I vow NOT to do, or whatever my New Year’s resolution may be… (by the way,I have abolished over the past few years) I can’t follow through. That reminds me of that other old saying “Beginning is easy, continuing, hard.’

So here I am again, New Year old ways. A plate full with just so many hours in a day and these...

‘Feelings’

Ummm…

What is this?

What has me baffled?

What‘s in my head?

What is it there for?

I am living a life

Full of haste

So I thrive on

Keeping up the pace

Seem there’s so much

I can do

Seems there’s no way

To get through

I keep on searching

For the time

And keep on looking

For a sign

For what can and

What can’t be done

When one job’s finish

Another has begun

I seek with grace

Seek sublimity

Without a trace

Of obscenity

I can’t be still

I just can’t rest

Always searching

Trying to better my best

Seeking and striving

Tread roads intrepidly

Look to completion

But can’t let go indefinitely

Gotta keep moving

Keeping up the pace

Always a step ahead

No time to waste

Fulfilling wishes

Fulfilling needs

Feel it my duty

To intercede

When there’s always

A 'work' to be done

When I strive for success

My battle is won

There’s always another

Feat to be achieved

Never to finish

Always to cleave

Not endeavoring to

Defy or defeat

But encouraging me on

Cause I’m feeling

Incomplete

~PJ Payne

The Gift

Gifts don't have to come in the form of a beautifully wrapped inanimate object. Some of the most wonderful gifts are God's blessings bestowed upon you at a time when you least expect it.

He was not a Christmas baby and did not come to us in what some would consider idyllic circumstances; but, he is definitely a blessing to our family...

Approximately 12 years ago, our youngest son was excited about being accepted by a prestigious Christian college in East Texas. It was a dream that my late husband and I wanted for him, as well as our other kids, who had gone on to seek careers in their choice of fields. But this young man­- he was the one (it seems) whom we were on our knees for ALL the time. He was the one who ‘tried our patience.’ The one whose parents, the teachers knew by name because we LIVED at the school, for one reason or another. The one who was spoiled and got away with murder, as his siblings whined about him.  You know--that ‘one kid’ in the family. But he was also the child we thought we would never have because doctors gave up on him. The child they suggested, in so many words, we should abort. They said because of high-risk factors, I would not carry my pregnancy full-term. But God! 

Losing his dad at 15 was hard on him, on me, his siblings; hard on all of my family. And then one day, while he was still in high school, it was as though a lightbulb went off in his head. He said, “Mama, I am the man of the house now and I’m going to make you and Daddy proud!” Wow, my eyes teared up. He was growing up and he was determined. He graduated high school and initially went to a community college, as I’m sure he did not want to be away from home and me. Although in high school, he played sports, played piano and had other interests, his true passion was singing. So when he decided to go away to college, I was ecstatic.

He pursued and studied music. His siblings and I encouraged him to keep his focus. He was able to tour the United States with the college’s prestigious ‘Summer Tour Acapella Chorus.’ This group of talented students, from all parts of the US, toured, sang, and at the same time had to keep up their GPA to perform.  These were very proud moments for the family and me, to see him flourish.  One of his tour stops brought him back home to Texas, where he introduced us to a young lady from the East Coast, who sang with them. They were BOTH beaming!

Finally, that day came! He graduated from college.  It was the fulfillment of a dream. We celebrated because we knew his dad would have been very proud of him. The world was at his feet! Then, weeks later, with a bewildered look on his face, he made an announcement to us. “I’m going to be a father!”  I thought, WOW! I shook off initial shock and said “It’s going to be okay son. I know you are overwhelmed right now, but it will work out.” And it did. Through it all, even I had to find strength in my ‘go to’ scripture, Philippians 4:13 KJV- ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’  Finally, we were given a beautiful healthy baby boy. The blessing in ALL of this is that an extraordinary angel was watching over his young parents. This child was born on a very special day--his grandpa’s birthday, January 4^th. How befitting!  As the only grandchild, he gives this family more reasons to remember him and celebrate the season with gratefulness, never forgetting he would not be here to carry on his grandfather’s legacy, had we listened to doctors and not trusted God.

And now at nine years old, when I asked him the question, “What should I write about this month Dominic? This article is supposed to be about the Christmas spirit.” He immediately responded, “Write about ME, Nemo! You always said I was a gift from God.”

Blessings,

PJ Payne

'Glory'

I am thinking...

Everyone has or has had a special person in his or her life that impacted them forever.  That impact was so profound that you never forgot that individual. You wondered how they did what they did. They went through so much and seem to come out untarnished, unscathed, praising, shouting and giving God the Glory for even the hardships!

Well in my lifetime, I have met a few ‘Praising and Praying’ women.  But one sister, Gloria (Sally) Criswell, impacted my life deeply.

I met Sister Sally (as we all called her) a number of years ago when I was still a ‘babe in Christ’. We were both young women at the time, but she had, I know, a special gift.  She was prayerful and humble.  I was impressionable and ‘on fire’ for the Lord. I absorbed and gravitated to every little positive setting I encountered.   I desired to work in His Church in whatever capacity I could.

I loved to sing, but also soon became a part of a group of Lady Prayer Warriors, for lack of a better title. There were a number of us, as we would go to homes and hospitals to pray with the elderly, sick and shut-in. I recognized instantly that Sister Sally always prayed hard and fervently. I thought…  ”It’s as though no one else is in the room… just her and God.” Whenever she finished, I felt as though I had been cleansed and renewed spiritually! That’s how powerful her prayers were.

There was a mutual bond in this group, but for some reason, a few of us just ‘clicked.’  Soon we begin to take turns going to each other’s home, to fellowship and pray. I think Sister Sally literally taught me how to pray. We prayed for each other, as we were all married, had children, and had no shame in “Letting Go and Letting God!”  We allowed His Spirit to encompass, move and envelope our very being, remembering the scripture: Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst”. And it never failed, as we would each take a turn to pray, it seems Sister Sally would ALWAYS say the last prayer. And time was of no essence, as we let God have His way.  

I loved watching her when we would meet. Through our initial conversations, she would sometimes sit with her hands on her lap, a smile on her face, eyes closed and she would rock back and forth… a very serene vision.  It was like she was slowly gearing up; getting ready to exalt God through prayer. She would pray so passionately and unselfishly, we were automatically brought to tears. On many occasions, we could have easily used more than one box of Kleenex.  She would be crying and her nose would be red and runny (as did ours) and by the time we released hands and opened our eyes, we needed a shower.  “Ain’t God Good!” 

I can’t forget those days. This is for ‘The Praying Woman’ who is still in my life.  She taught by example, how a woman prays. “God bless you, Sister Sally!”

  

The Praying Woman

The praying woman has a prayer for every situation

The praying woman always prays without hesitation

She goes about as though her life is not one of her own

Her first focus is on others, knowing prayer changes what’s wrong

She deems ‘Too blessed to be stressed’

As a powerful endorsement

And prayer, a necessary

And essential re-enforcement 

The praying woman has no need

To keep problems on her mind

She automatically prays and heeds

To situations that she finds

She has a role in others’ lives

They don’t even seem to notice

She’s there without a visual concept

As she senses and can focus 

Without a doubt, she’s the praying woman

God has given to all indeed

In body and soul, she gives her all

Unconscious of what she needs 

She prays for you unselfishly

With a God-given gift of discernment

You see, the praying woman

Is grounded and rooted with positive refinement 

The praying woman has grace and gratitude

Not seeking praise or fame.

For she gives God ALL the glory,

Doing it all, in Jesus’ name!

Amen

PS: "In 2019, Find Your Glory." 

Blessings,

PJ Payne

'You Don't Miss Your Water...'

There is an old saying my momma used to say all the time… “You don’t miss your water ‘til your well runs dry.”  I cannot recall if she was quoting lyrics from an old song or if it was just another one of her ‘off the tip of the tongue’ animated expressions she often planted in our heads. Either way, it was repeated enough to embed an everlasting impression. I must admit, I initially did not ‘get it!’ “A well? What is a well?”  I am sure I did one of those ‘eye rolls’ most kids do when they are lectured by their elders. But as time passed, I understood her words clearly.

Too many times we go about our daily duties and onuses without giving a second thought to how we make it from day to day. We go to jobs that we think will always be available; take for granted our good health; give and buy kids things that are well above our means, which they presuppose is a ‘given…’ and the list goes on.

What that expression means is that we cannot appreciate what we have, until we no longer have it. Even the simplest of things, like the air we so freely breathe, is taken for granted. Consider those who no longer have the capability of freely inhaling fresh air, as they become dependent on a breathing apparatus.

As I sit back with my ‘brew’ in one hand and pen in the other, I consider how blessed I really am.  I have had so many ‘water missing’ moments. And now, I think I am ever so grateful for the tiny things because this is my birthday month... A benchmark birthday!  As I embark on a new stage of this wonderful life God has granted me, I seem to have had a huge growth-spurt! Uhhh, mentally and physically! I am not embracing the physical aspect easily, but I am accepting it and claiming good health, Lol. As a whole, I’m enlightened, learned, more vibrant, and comfortable in my own skin. But most importantly, I have grown to REALLY know Jesus. I am Sooo Thankful!  He has and still sustains me. Everything I am and have gracefully endured is because of Him.

Life and those ‘water missing’ moments have taught me so much…

-To be still and listen when I’m anxious- Philippians 4: 6-7

-To take my hands off when I want to fix everything- Exodus 14:14

-When God seemed so far away- Psalm 139

-When I have lost a loved one- John 14:18

-How to let go of pain when I have been wronged- 1 Peter 5:7

-When I realized everyone around me had grown or is gone- Deuteronomy 31:8

-When I put trust in man and not in Him- Psalm 27

-When I have been taken for granted; walked over- 2 Chronicles 15:7

And if I can’t remember anything else but that childhood scripture, encompassing all, I recite- Psalm 23.

So if you are wondering, what will happen next? Why has your well seemingly dried up? How will you make it? Please remember this-

Be grateful. Be thankful

For your now

For whatever situation

That has been bestowed

For He didn’t bring you this far

So that you’d turn around

Be grateful. Be graceful

Start thanking Him.

For He is your

‘How’

Blessings,

PJ Payne

Unforeseen Hope

Have you ever had someone in your life that you probably didn’t appreciate at the time? Then you come to realize that it wasn’t so bad after all? I’m sure this has happened to us all at some point and time; be it male or female. See, we learn through ups and downs, trials and tribulations that we were going through, things were not just about you, it was about them too. I definitely had that happen to me and had to figure it out. 

Making this story short, I had a girlfriend in my life for many years.  We had so much in common. We both had wonderful marriages (or so we thought); both had three kids; both were Christians and members of a church community… so everything should have been fine, right? Well, it wasn’t. We were always talking, doing things together, trips with family, singing events etc. As our kids grew up and life happened, her marriage fell apart.  I tried to be there for her but felt as though we didn’t mesh anymore. She stated there was a strain, as she was all of a sudden single and I wasn’t.  It was quite hard for me to accept, and I bucked against it, stating nothing had changed about my adoration for her as a friend. I soon felt as though she threw quite a few insinuations towards me, so I resolved to fold and back away from the friendship.

As a few years, there were other devastating situations we endured… but what I remembered the most was that I felt abandoned. What I didn’t see at the time was how abandoned she must have felt, going through a divorce, feeling unwanted, unloved which may have in a way caused her to harbor ill feelings of jealousy or resentment.

As I stated, there is more to this story, but this was the beginning of understanding that we tend to take too many things personal.  Sometimes things are not what they seem... There's always hope.

Unforeseen

I used to gripe about

My very best friend

And didn’t realize

My distinction she depended

Thought she was a mimic

Thought she was a mime

Didn’t put it together, then

What she needed was my time

I was that distinguishing part

Representative of her deficiency

Later I found, I gave hope

Imparting proficiency

She wouldn’t let on

How important to her I was

And wouldn’t give me the benefit

Of bestowing unequivocal love

I began to doubt our friendship

Had qualms about the treatment

I was receiving all but kinship

My importance, I wasn’t believing

So… I became defensive

I began to question commitment

Was what we had all these years

Fake… only a figment?

Finding later, a deeper sense

As we went through some things

Some folks just can’t accept flaws

No matter the pain it brings

See, she was one side of me

And I am who she admired

Didn’t really see the big picture then

Time apart was what was required

Stepping aside

Taking inventory

And in all things, ups or downs

Giving God the Glory

Blessings,

PJ Payne

The 'Chauffeur'

What I’ve learned is, when something unexpected or drastic happens, we naturally seek answers and ask why. Everything you deem as ‘going wrong’ is not necessarily going wrong. “He wouldn’t have brought you to it, if He couldn’t bring you through it.” Brace yourself and hunker down, because He may be preparing you for the ride of a lifetime!  

But remember who is your pilot, your chauffeur, your navigator; you can make the worst thing that ever happened in your life, work for your best.

It’s hard to be grateful and thankful when everything around you seems to be in shambles. This is especially so, if you are the type of person who is the ‘leanee,’ instead of the leaner. Basically, you have been the one on whom everyone can depend … the confidante, spiritual adviser, the listening ear, the Rock of Gibraltar, the invincible one - need I go on? I’m sure you get the picture. So tell me, who do you go to when you’re in need of support? Do you deny yourself? Do you not open up? Are you repudiating the fact that you have problems or issues? Do you just hold it all in?

Well God knows us better than we know ourselves. He allows us to fall down sometimes so that we will understand exactly where our help AND the help of others, comes from when we get up. Psalm 121:1-2 KJV …from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.

There is just no escaping what God’s plan is for your life. Just let Him take the reins. Stop saying ‘thanks, but no thanks,’ when your little feeble mind tells you that you don’t need to go through the hardships you’re enduring. Let the chips fall where they may. Somehow, by way of those downfalls, you really will be able to help someone in dire need of support. The comfort you will be able to give will have been through experience and the BEST teacher.

So, take your punches and don’t run away. Instead, pick yourself up, pick your space and time, and give Him thanks for it all. Yes, it’s Thanksgiving time! Thank him for what you’ve been through AND as hard as it seems, what you are about to go through.

Blessings,

PJ Payne

'Emotional'

Ever had one of those days when everything goes wrong? Everything you touch turns to mush. You can’t make sound decisions. All you want to do is crawl back into bed.

Well, get up! Brush yourself off! Exhale! Make a fresh pot of coffee and drink up! Go to your quiet place… Whatever it takes to get back on track, do it! Don’t be conquered.  You are the conqueror. You set the standards. You set the pace. You don’t know who is watching you. You don’t know who is looking up to you. You don’t know who is thinking “I want to be like her/him when I grow up.” You just don’t know.  Therefore, seek and find the tiniest thread of hope- tie a knot and hold on. Push forward.  Find the strength you need to continue. This slump you’re feeling is only temporary… just a block, not a bombardment. There is a difference.

Find that passion you know you already possess. You haven’t lost it… only misplaced that fuel, fire, energy, the oomph to forge on.  

Also remember it’s okay to feel this way, as we are all human and have ‘those days.’ Just don’t wallow in self-pity.  We all go through it. Don’t lose your focus. Don’t let anyone hamper or dampen your spirit.

So mixed up,

So confused

You’re hoping your heart

Will not be abused

Putting your trust

Yet again in man

Forgetting that only

One Man can

Fulfill your hopes

Fulfill your dreams

Lord, please help

Set us all free

From doubts

From fears

Remind us of possibilities

If we’d listen and hear

The words… Your words

Over and over again

‘I can do all things…’

And we know we can

If we block out all

The negativity of man

If complete faith and trust

Is put in You

Piercing our hearts

Through and through

Freeing the mind

Freeing the spirit

Of distrust when

We can’t get rid of it

And remind us too, that

‘This too shall pass’

When the fog clears,

Free at last!

Remember, the things

You go through

Are trial and error

You can’t let it control you

With fear, with terror

Let go, give Him

The okay to teach

Again, lessons you have

Already heard preached

That you are not alone

He’s got your back

That you are not infallible

And that’s a fact

That we are all human

Emotions will come

Even if we can’t identify

Where they’re coming from

…just Emotional

Blessings,

PJ Payne