In Honor and Love, Extended

As I nestle in with my cup ‘o Joe and pen in hand, I am reminiscing as usual. But I am also thinking about history and the future. I have concluded that in this time and age, we ALL want and need love. The display of love should not just be about this month and all its connotations. More importantly, we need to share love continuously through giving of self or just saying ‘I Love You’. That can be more rewarding than any gift you can give.

I ponder on my own life as a child… growing up in the country with humble beginnings. But with the love of family and through God’s grace, I persevered. And my ancestry has taught me so much about unconditional love. I had a God-fearing and strong mother who taught me and my 5 siblings ‘from whence cometh our help…’ She fervently instilled good morals, values, and loving others unconditionally. What my mother passed down to us emanated from someone who lived on this earth over 102 years - her mother and my Grandmother. Without her, there would be no us. In appreciation of Black History and love, today I honor a loving, brave and strong woman, Bessie Johnson-Howard (10-10-10 – 7-31-13). She lived, loved and sacrificed for her 12 children. As she extended her love and touched many other lives, she was known as Momma, Auntie, Grandma, Miss Bessie, but most of us just called her ‘Madea.’

Love Extended

Over a hundred years ago

She really bore us all

Over a hundred years ago

She took the fall

For what was to come

And what was to be

For what the future held

For the family

Over a hundred years ago

She didn’t know

A hundred years would pass

And she would live and last

Through blood, sweat, and tears

All over a hundred years

To see the light

Of that age-old fight

That was fought for you

And for me too

The right to live freely

For over a hundred years

A hundred years

Is a century

A hundred years long

Something WE may never see

But think one minute

Just take a peek

At life through her eyes

All in a century

Births, marriages, deaths

Defining the family tree

Out-living some of her own

All in a span of

A century

And what’s amazing is

Her life didn’t stop there

She lives and keeps living

A bloodline that streams

Through many veins

And more to come

As her off-springs

Had off-springs

Springing off those

And then some…

So, the moral of

This story is

That a seed of love was planted

And that seed lives

and lives… and lives

through our Madea

In Love,

~PJ Payne

Open Hand - Let Go

Sometimes instead of worrying, we have to meditate and concentrate on the shocks and disbeliefs in our lives... there is always the question of why or the second thought of 'if only'.  I believe nothing happens in life by chance. We all had our territories charted out for us, even before we were thought of and made.
Therefore, given such an awesome, pure, simple and fresh beginning in life, it gives reason that we should focus on the fact that destiny is not ours, but His to plot. We tend to make our own circumstances problematic. Just think about it. At inception, we were like an uncharted map because He held the plan in His Hand. So when we begin to take life's 'little' circumstances (and they are little to Him) out of His Hands, that is when we feel the brunt of the trials and hardships we face. Endurance becomes traumatic!! Too many times without realizing what we are doing, we put 'self' in a matter where self shouldn't be. We think everything needs to be touched, or for lack of a better elucidation, 'controlled' by us. In my instance, by ME, lol.

We must learn to 'Open Hand - Let Go'. That's right! Open your hand and let it go! When we bite off more than we can chew or take on more than we can handle, it's okay to let go of some things. This is NOT about you or me! It's about God!

Right now you're probably steering in the wrong direction, traveling on the wrong highway - taking the back roads instead of the main thoroughfare; focusing on the wrong prize. Remember He has mapped out the path for you.
"Take YOUR hands off and let it go!'

Blessings,
PJ Payne

"Somebody Oughta Say Something"

Have you ever gone someplace and after the fact, you swore you’d never return because your encounter was one of displeasure and not quite your ‘cup ‘o tea’? Basically, you DIDN'T enjoy the experience. You brushed it off, didn’t speak of your distaste at the time, just grinned and bore it. As time went on, you may have made reference to it in conversation, but still did nothing because you figured you would NEVER have to return.

Well, as happenstance or a twist of faith would have it, I found myself in that very situation. Opportunity and circumstances dictated a ‘Revisit’. When I realized I would be returning, I immediately remembered dislike and thought, “this is the last time”. So, I girded up courage and planned  to encounter what I thought would be a very unpleasant recurrence!

To say I was pleasingly surprised is an understatement! Not only was there a noticeable change in the ‘look’ of the place, its whole aura and atmosphere wreaked of joyous mysticism. My first thought…  What Happened?? Whereas I was regretting the return, I found myself pleased and engrossed. I began to feel guilty though, about my initial memories; how I shunned the thought of engaging in a return visit and most of all not speaking up about the experience.
“OBVIOUSLY, somebody said something”!

Like me, someone else had the very same mundane, uninviting, humdrum and uncomfortable occurrence. But unlike me, instead of enduring the discontent and saying nothing, they spoke up. Better still, somebody was listening and changes emerged.

What I'm asking now is “how do you change something if you say nothing”? You may even think, as I did, it’s not your place to voice your concern. Well, it’s not even about what you say as much as it’s about how you say it. The voice is precious and it speaks volumes without a rise in its tone, over emphasis on any words, or even additional demonstrative actions. Think first, then let the Spirit lead you.

I’m so happy ‘somebody said something'! Thank you and I shall return.

-PJ Payne

New Wings

Beginning again; now something I love. Beginning again, with God's grace from above. As we have embarked upon this New year, we all want to do better than we did last year.  So, we’ve made resolutions, promises, and set new goals. Problem - we become overwhelmed with so many other 'things' and then allow our new initiatives to fall by the wayside. But like a beautiful baby butterfly, let’s take flight! And when we must land for whatever reason, let’s do it with grace... then get back up again.

We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves if we falter or fail. Remember this - God gives us chances over and over again.  They are new beginnings - to right wrongs, to say I’m sorry, to say I love you, to help somebody else, even something we take for granted like waking up and seeing a new day. But how many of us really set out to start over, to refresh, and to renew the old? Do we just stop trying and leave well enough alone?

I’ve heard a lot of people say ‘At the beginning, I was or we were ...’ But what happened to now? What progress was made? What happened to now? Did you actually see accomplishments? Do you know what mistakes were made along the way? What happened to now? Did you learn from your mistakes? Now, what? Stagnation?

Starting over doesn’t mean that you have to extinguish the past, because you can’t. Just CHOOSE to start fresh. You cannot do anything about that past because there will always be someone who will show up and say ‘I remember.’ But you can move forward by not becoming complacent, feeling unresolved or wallowing in self-pity.  I am so guilty of these things sometimes.

But I have resolved to first of all, express my innermost feelings in some form or fashion. Whether in words or in actions, I will consciously choose to keep away negativity.

I have resolved to not be unproductive, discouraged or disheartened, for those are only the enemy’s thoroughfares to stagnation.

I have begun to utilize talents I have kept buried deep inside because of fear of not being accepted or ridiculed.

I have begun to go back (yes, I have to go back sometimes) to reevaluate and revitalize old ideas that I thought were not good enough, but found them to be a blessing to somebody else.

And I have begun to cultivate and bring to fruition gifts from seeds that were planted in me by someone who NEVER has to begin again. “He doesn’t make mistakes!” Genesis 1:1KJV - In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth… Genesis 1:31KJV - God saw all that He had made, and it was very good…  No, He has no need to begin again or start over because all that He does is good and perfect.

Although we fear making mistakes and failing, the tiniest step can be a new beginning. God has given us grace and mercy to reconsider our choices, and to change. No matter what stumbling blocks you may encounter or how many mistakes are made, any initiation towards change means a new beginning. Progression doesn’t happen unless you put it in motion. Start fresh! Choose today to change today!

Take new wings of grace and take flight… even if you have to begin again, over and over again.

Beginning again is now something I love. Beginning again, with God’s grace from above!

Blessings,

PJ Payne

Mind Boggling

Have you ever just sat and thought about things, life, the future…

My mind is everywhere, not just here, not just there. I can't even keep up with it! It's sometimes just all over the place. It takes off and leaves me behind.  Having no order to it; Having no certain area or space; won't 'stay' for any length of time… Thus - the anarchy of this traveling 

mind ‘o mine.

BUT,

It's really not as complex as we 

make it out to be

Really seems far-fetched

but just relax 'let it be'

Sim-ply

...the mind

-PJ Payne

Coffee and Sunrise

I love early mornings, when it feels like the rest of the world is still fast asleep and you're the only one who's awake. Everyone and everything feels like it's not really, really, real. You kinda forget about your problems because for now, it's just you, your coffee, your peace of mine, your Lord, a world indifferent, and the Sunrise... Beauty!

Incognito

Hiding in the bushes and don't want to be seen, because you think your importance is nothing but a pipe dream. You don't NEED to be seen! You're letting others 'show' your work, even taking the credit sometimes, while in the shadows or behind the curtain you lurk... unassuming, unselfish, unnoticed.
You don't NEED a stamp, don't NEED a pat on the back, don't NEED to be pointed out, as a matter of fact.

Well, the reason you say, is that you're just exuding your love in the things you love to do and you do it 'just because'. Anyway, HE gets the glory when you're through and that satisfaction in itself, is enough for you.

Unbeknownst to you, you ARE seen from afar and admired by many. Some of whom, like yourself, not accredited their accomplishments. Your 'worth' does not go as unnoticed as you may think! 

Summation: Humility is not exploited, but anointed! You ARE acknowledged. Maybe by no means of your own, but there is an "All Seeing Eye, Watching You", and SEES. 

PJ Payne