Laughter...

Dictionary.com defines Laugher: a verb- To express mirth, pleasure, derision, or nervousness with an audible, vocal expulsion of air from the lungs that can range from a loud burst of sound to a series of quiet chuckles and is usually accompanied by characteristic facial and bodily movements.

My take on laughter is that it is the emotional catalyst of Joy... The self-preservation of ones' mind; the belief and spirituality of mankind; kindred spirit along with self-motivation; the will to do, without notification.

Question: When your 'git-up n go has got-up n gone,' what and who do you really rely on?
Well, with God's guidance and your intuitive reactions, one can really grasp and hold on to any emotion, using the reality of foresight we each have. Basically, having anticipation and forethought before you react to any given situation produces any mood you want.

Example: The other day I walked into a store, (with my happy-go-lucky self) just smiling and ready to delve in to any bargain I could find. ‘Low and behold’, the first person I laid eyes on in the check-out line was an EX coworker whom I had not seen for at least 6 years. My thoughts… “this is the last thing I need!” (not a cordial work relationship) Well, I kept walking, heart pounding, semi-sweating, but my head up and I’m saying to myself, “don’t react, don’t react!” So I made my way to the back of the store, out of eye contact and looked a little closer to confirm whether it was her. “YEP, her alright! What would Jesus do?"
To my dismay, after nonchalantly perusing the store, I had to return to the front to retrieve a basket for the bargains I’d found. Wow, I know I can do this! I pertly walked to the front, grabbed a basket, smiled BIG and said “hi, I thought that was you” giving her a hug. ARKWARD!! Basically, I could see that she didn’t know how to react to my genuineness (and I was genuine) She stammered a hello with a phony smile and asked how I was doing and what I was doing now? Now that question REALLY made me smile, because I am honestly happy ‘in me’. I exuded naturally the laughter and joy I had to tap in to and channel, to get through that situation. I give God the glory... 

I’m sure she noticed my exuberance as I replied to her question, but her reluctance lingered. Maybe it was the shock of me actually approaching her, or the fact that she was still doing the same ole thing, whereas I’d moved on… Can’t question it! I did Me and I still have JOY! 

In all you do, let no one steal your joy. God's got you! "Just Laugh On!"

PJ Payne

Helpers in the Attic

Don’t you just love the Holiday Season? This is my favorite time of the year! I am ever so grateful for the Reason for the Season and also appreciate the beauty of it all. Besides savoring a flavorful cup of my favorite brew, decorating is the second best thing I love during the holidays. The smell of wood burning fireplaces or pine is so refreshing on a cold night.  Listening to Holiday music, giving to those in need, and admiring beautifully lit trees are some of the makings of the Spirit of Christmas.

But, I also realize that not everyone feels the same about this time of the year. This season is especially hard on those who have lost loved ones. And loss cannot be measured by how long it has been or even how old or young an individual was. It is immeasurable as is the pain and heartache. Even a loss by separation is a loss; a loss of a job is a loss and its relevance should not be lesser. Every emotional aspect of our lives plays a part in how we perceive, observe, celebrate and react to this time of the year.  I too have had losses over the years and it has not been” Merry” every year.  The support of family and friends as well as an understanding of God’s purpose and importance in my life sustains me. When we are at our lowest, we should remember to surround ourselves with positive things and remember where our help comes from.  ‘… from whence cometh my help.  My help cometh from the Lord …’ Psalm 121: 1-2.  I also believe that it is important to focus on the simplest of blessings like good health and things which bring joy to mind.  ‘...whatsoever things are pure…if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.’ Philippians 4: 8.

As I think of my most memorable Christmases, I am reminded of the years my now, late husband and I really thought we had devised plans to camouflage nametags on gifts we had bought for our kids.  We did this so that they wouldn’t know how many or which gift was theirs under the tree.   But first understand that we had five kids… Yours, Mine, and Ours!  We had, what is now considered a ‘blended family’. It may not sound like many kids but the age difference between the oldest and youngest was 14 years which made things very interesting.  And the days of the youngest believing that Santa Claus brought the gifts down the chimney --- that story was painfully tainted very early, through the older kids’ revelation. 

When our family started to grow, we learned to buy gifts early and do layaways. Our hiding places were generally our closet and under the bed. Then we graduated to the ATTIC, which we thought to be an unreachable place for the kids to search, because the ceilings were steep! It was somewhat out of sight, right? Wrong! Young and dumb were we as parents… they were literally “steps” ahead of us! 

So, each year we labeled or wrapped their gifts differently so that they could not guess whose gift it was. For instance, we might wrap the oldest child’s gift (who is a girl) in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle wrapping paper. Then one year we labeled them with the names of their favorite color. Along with opening one gift on Christmas Eve, this mystery game became a tradition. They were always ‘surprisingly,’ surprised to learn what label they had (or so we thought).  Our satisfaction in all of this was that they didn’t know what was inside the packages until Christmas Day; again or so we thought.

The highlight of the guessing game was number labels. This time we made sure to notate the labeling so that we would not forget.  The oldest was 15 years old, but we put the number 15 on a gift that really belonged to the two year old, and so on. When Christmas day came, they had figured out our pattern. “How could they figure it out”? It was not mathematically possible!  Remember, the ATTIC idea? Well we found out ‘many years later’ that somebody (questionable who) climbed into the attic and strategically unwrapped gifts to see what they had gotten. Not only did ‘SHE’ unwrap, but also played with her gift before rewrapping it. Did she have a helper? How long had this been going on is still a mystery.  “As I think about it, maybe that’s why it seemed I was forever vacuuming up bits of insulation.” We will never know...

The 'Eyes' Have It

I saw this today…

A man on a corner

The man had a sign

The sign said, ‘Need Help,

Please Help!’

Tattered clothing

Raggedy boots; no strings

A dirty cup

Unkempt hair

A slothful walk

A seemingly dampened spirit

Broken

Many passers-by

Stares

Yet, he couldn’t reach some folks

A dismal outlook…

And as I slowly drove, I eventually got a closer look.  But it seems the closer I came, like those who were ahead of me, I didn’t want to have any eye contact with him. You see, probably like my ‘forerunners’, I felt that if I would look at him in his eyes, I would feel obligated to respond in some form or fashion. His appearance was a directive of the mindset society has attached to individuals on street corners. There are preconceived notions that they are all cons, thieves, druggies, and any other belittling label that can be an assessment of their character.

So for a minute, I stared straight ahead. My characterization was stoic; immobile. I continued to drive, but as I began to pass him by, from the ‘corner of my eye’, I saw his eyes.  I then turned and looked at him. Our eyes met.  I saw something deeper than his outer appearance.  Without realizing my actions, I pulled all of the change from my ashtray and a few dollars, from my purse.  I rolled my window down, as he turned and limped towards my car.  I dropped the money into his cup. He said “thank you ma-am.”

And then I saw…

A gracious nod

A toothless grin

Stark-white, bright eyes

A rigid, tall frame

A resilient stride

A glimmer of hope

This time of the year is considered a time for GIVING. My question to you all is what would you have done? How would you have reacted? Would you have followed suit and drove past him, as so many others had done? Would you have stopped and questioned him? Maybe you have already encountered someone like him. What did you do?

As for me, the very moment our eyes met, I knew it was not my place to judge him. My spirit would not allow me to pass him by with no thought of the fact that he really could be homeless, someone’s father, brother or uncle. Better still – I saw a child of God.

In its simplicity, “I thank God for Peripheral Vision!”  

PJ Payne

The Ingredients

What are little boys made of

What are little boys made of
Snips & snails & puppy dogs tails

And such are little boys made of. 

What are little girls made of

What are little girls made of

Sugar and spice and everything nice

That’s what little girls are made of

"What Are Little Boys Made Of?" is a popular nursery rhyme dating from the early 19th century.

The rhyme appears in many variant forms. For example, other versions may describe boys as being made of "snaps", "frogs", "snakes", or "slugs", rather than "snips" as above.

But little girls are ALWAYS “everything nice”, or “all things nice”. Wow!

According to Iona and Peter Opie, this writing first appears in a manuscript by the English poet Robert Southey, (1774–1843). But in popular culture, the line "sugar, spice and everything nice" has been interpreted in the song, “Daddy’s Little Girl” written by Robert Burke and Horace Gerlach and later recorded by "The Mills Brothers”,  in 1950.

Whatever the case may be, little boys and little girls have NOT changed… not by nature at birth, so they are literally “little” and untainted. Change comes with growth, standards, morals that are instilled and examples that are set; basically what parents, peers and the environment dictates.

Too many times little girls and little boys grow up too fast, and it’s not their doing, but different conditions decree such adaptation... even survival. Kids are adaptable because they imitate and emulate what they see.

For example, about 6 years ago, my grandson who was less than 2 years old, picked up my ‘old school’ flip cell phone and began to swipe the screen with his little finger. Of course that didn’t work, then after about 3-4 swipes, he handed it to me and said “boke, boke”!  LOL! Basically to him, my ‘good’ phone was broken! We all had a big laugh about that and I soon upgraded. Now, at 7 3/4 years old, he can show ME how to use my phone - text, emoji’s, download stuff, Google… the whole nine yards. Though, now his lifestyle dictated such knowledge and advanced use of technology, he is still the ‘little boy’.

You see, that rhyme resonates with me because as a younger ‘little boy’, he loved BUGS and snails etc.! It was nothing to see him pick up a ‘doo, doo’ bug, play with it... even put it in his pocket. And still to this day, he is fascinated by bugs.

Time brings about change, just as the lyrics of that rhyme evolved over time. But, the message and implication of that limerick DID NOT change… just as “little boys and little girls.”

~PJ Payne

HE DID IT

Have you ever just sat back and thought deeply about how everything around you is really so miraculously made? “That’s what my ‘coffee thought’ is about today”. It doesn’t matter how much it rains, hails, sleets or snows ,God forbids, His works are meticulously done.

It is reminiscent of how I grew up in a little country town where everyone knew everyone, truly giving homage to the common adage, ‘It takes a village….’ which brings me to this.

As a child when my siblings, cousins and I would visit our grandparents, we didn’t really understand that we were there, supposedly to ‘help’ them on their farm. Half of us didn’t know what we were doing anyway, and considered it a vacation and fun. I remember getting up bright and early in the morning, before the sun came up, grabbing a pail with chicken feed in it and taking it to the chicken coop to feed the chickens… the same chickens I’d chased the day before! But they laid the eggs I would eat later that morning for breakfast. The boys would ‘slop the pigs’ as they called it. But those pigs yielded the pork roast we would have for Sunday dinner. Or my grandfather would send my brother out, sometimes on wintry nights, to chop some wood to put in that old wood-burning stove. That firewood is what kept us warm when we would get up on those icy cold mornings.

But my fondest memory is those carefree afternoons when some of us, usually the girls would wander off into the field to play. My favorite game was to see who could find the first four-leaf clover. As I look back, I don’t think it really mattered who won, but my visual is lying in the grass, usually with wild flowers we had picked; naming the shapes of the clouds. I recall laughter and staring at the wondrous beauty God had created, from the towering trees to the birds and bees…

In the beginning He did it all! And now on my mornings, I remember. 

Gloriously!

I love my mornings

I love my days

And take into consideration

All the ways

That God has blessed me

To see another

Of His great works

One way or the other

For this could not be

Possible without Him

He did it all for me

On a wink and a whim

I’m taking it all in

Absorbing its beauty

Relishing in Him

What He does, without duty

And He didn’t have to do this

For you or me

Dirty rags are we

At His feet

I thank Him and praise

His glorious works

For mine eyes to behold

As each morning lurks 

Again and again

It never fails

Same time…descends

His Magnificence unveils

Glory

'Work It Out'

How can one handle situations or 'states of affairs' that you KNOW won't change... basically there is no sign of change in the forecast - not in your work sector... Well, something or someone has to go!

It never ceases to amaze me the things people will do. It never ceases to amaze me, the things you must go through when you try your very best to right a wrong that's imparted unto you. You're shown blatant unfairness as well as partiality; singled out. You try to focus on thoughts that are fresh and anew; especially in an atmosphere that has proven to be so unaptly suited for you. The air that surrounds you is so thick, you can cut it with a knife (so to speak).  What do you do when your work setting disputes work ethics? Run?

In the world today, a working environment has so many 'states of minds’. You don't know which you will face from one morning to the next, even from one 'face’ to the next... See, the humility you so suitably possess is sometimes tried or offset by others’ outwardly appearance of senility. Their inadequacies, lack of innate abilities, disrespect and just downright stupidity tries your patience.  

Although you may be suffering at the expense of your colleagues absurdities, you handle adversity and  what you're facing daily with poise and dignity. BUT, the human side allow frustration can beset you quickly! You look to whence cometh your help aggressively, as you "need help Lord", to endure, to secure, to procure and retain modesty and meekness. 

You’ve tried at best, to be calm ‘n collect in certain situations, but their unscrupulous behavior is a reality, staring you in the face. You can’t get around the ‘mess’ as it encompasses and infiltrates ‘your space.’ So…What do you do to regain composure and keep the little couth you still possess? 

You just keep your head up, breathe deep and ride the waves till the end of your voyage.  Daily you may  be tossed to and fro, but hold tight as He moves at His own pace. In Him you will find that refuge and solace, as He Works it out.

Blessings,

PJ

Petroleum

As a poet and writer, there is always something that inspires me to put on paper what's in my head. The bulk of my inspiration has come by seeing and listening to the works of some of our most renown Black Poets, namely Langston Hughes and Maya Angelou. I truly believe most writers write through inspirations and experiences. Our heritage and experiences are the stepping stones for us as black poets to articulate our movement; convey our thoughts to print. 

Sometimes I feel as though I have so much to say and if I didn't have a outlet, I'd burst wide open... my brain goes much faster than even my fingers can wrap around a pen, type on a keyboard, or even my body can move, to express what I am thinking.

I've been writing since my kids were little and always thought of it as my "Coffee and Thee" moments whereas I spent time alone with a Cup 'o Joe, my Bible or journal and my inspiration-Thee. My thoughts utter, via pen, whatever creeps into mind at that time. today it's about children, so I've dubbed this my 

Petroleum

You are my inspiration

my source of rejuvenation

The sweetener

for my cup-o-tea        

The morning coffee

I think I need

The fuel that

jump-starts my day

are your little words

that pave the way. 
Our talks - easy for me

Innocence - freely for me

Refreshing

Fulfilling

A bond so close

for you, I'm willing....

Seeing you smile

carries me that extra mile.
Throughout the day

precious memories pave the way

Encompassing and

soothing my soul
giving me peace

lightening my load 

And when I began again...

You are my inspiration

my source of rejuvenation

Petroleum

~PJPayne

Together

The Mind

A terrible thing to waste

Genes

Nothing can take their place

The Soul

Innate ability to succumb

The Body

All encompasses One

Wherever the ‘mind-set’ goes

is derivation of the genes

But, empowerment from the soul

floods the body; then actions seem

to take on character and shape.

And in every light we begin

inadvertently, but cohesively, seeing

Wow, you’re my twin!

You and me

Mind

Genes

Soul

And Bod…..y

Connectivity

Collectively

Together

'Coffee and Writing'

FORTITUDE

The Devil LOVES it when he thinks he has won and you’re down for the count. Don’t give him an inkling of credit!  When ‘life happens’, it hits hard. My suggestion- "take the lick’n and keep on kick’n”!

Don’t give the Devil the glory for anything you feel has gone wrong in your life. When you do that, you are opening yourself up for more disasters, more mistakes, more wrong decisions, more seemingly unresolvable issues. Don’t let him in! Close that door of negativity. Leave no room for advancement of unconstructiveness, and pessimism. After you close the door, keep it under lock and key! 
Circumspectly, we even open ourselves up for blunders when we trust people. On the other hand, we just "open mouth, insert foot"!  Don’t leave access and room for disaster.   And by that I mean, watch the company you keep, you train of thoughts, your daily travels, circle of friends; even you facial expressions… sometimes the face tells the whole story; usually one you are not prepared to let go- “that’s a whole other book!” Lol.

Now, an optimistic view of the ‘stuff’ that happens is, maybe God is allowing it. You do know that He does allow us to go through difficult times, right? We may not understand it at the time, but ‘in His time’ we will understand.

Remember that adversity is always waiting; a happenstance away, therefore some things, we just can’t prevent. But for those in which we can, stomp on ‘em! 

Get an ATTITUDE of FORTITUDE and march on!

Blessings,

-PJ Payne

My Escape

I have always heard the term 'Experience is the best teacher.' Over the years, I didn't take that quote to heart, because when I imagined teaching I automatically relegated it to school or books. 
Those who knew me knew that I’ve always had a joyous, happy and excitable attitude about everything. Miss Positive. I saw the glass half full, instead of half empty. And that was and still is who I am. They seemed to think that I didn’t have a worry in the world… always there for the other person; a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, a sounding board – All those things. Deep down, I HID. But, I had an escape.

Let me give you a peek into my upbringing.

I had a STRONG Mom. Single but took care of all six of her children. From the outside, you didn’t see the struggle. Her statement to us was “Never let’em see you sweat! Be steadfast stand tall in what you believe in"! I understood that completely and carried it into my adulthood and family.

Yes, just like the next fella, I had problems but just didn’t show it; didn’t carry everything on my sleeves; didn't have a permanent print of a frown on my forehead, Lol. It seems I always wanted to portray the zeal and zest for life, a renowned strength, the epitome of positivity and that’s the person I wanted to exude - to be visible to my peers.

But, deep inside

But, hidden within

But, to only my best friend

But, my bad experiences

But, to the only One I can depend

But God knows the key that unlocks my door... to my escape

“…it’s why I write”.

~PJ Payne

Be Still...

My best time of the day is mornings… the quiet, the nothingness, the peace, innocence, tranquility, but more than anything, its stillness.

Mornings are new beginnings. Mornings are diamonds in the rough. Mornings are the nothingness that can become something big. Mornings are like untouched clay you can mold and make into whatever you want it to be.

If you’re anything like me, you rise up early, just to have that cup of coffee, time alone, read the Word, write or muse. Your 'you' time. The rest of the family and the world are still asleep and don’t seem to exist. Your thoughts are not bogged down with the worries of what’s going to happen next, because your morning is tranquil; the sunrise and stillness. You have that time to meditate or even create.

Imagine this for a minute. Just before God created heaven and earth, there was nothingness.

Genesis 1: 1 states “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep…”

This biblical depiction goes way beyond actuality of what our mornings look like. But the similarity is there for those who can take themselves to that place of the imagination, in the mornings. It’s clean. It's pure. It's uninhabited.

And then in verse 3, “and God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light. 4. God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from darkness…" Thus, our day and night!

But before daybreak, if we were to take just a moment - or maybe you're not a morning person, whatever your preference of day or night, just meditate on some things. I truly think it would make for a purer, clearer picture and outlook on life. Just try to find your ‘before creation’ time and Be Still.

Blessings

FIXED

Reflecting back on life, it seems times really have not changed so much. I remember when my mom used to say, "Don't worry about what's going on now, it will come back full circle". Never would I have dreamt that furnishings, cars, music, styles of clothing, shoes, jewelry, even hairdos would evolve. We see this all the time in our children's choices; trends on tv and social media. The change may be that a style has a different name or different hue in color, but in essence, the same. Somebody just revamped an old style!

Think about it. What will styles be like in twenty years? Who knows? But what we do have are memories... they won't leave and sometimes we can vividly go back. They are etched and fixed! 

 

Deep-Seated Memories

When I was younger, I used to stay in the mirror.  A flip here. A curl there. Couldn’t get enough of trying to find a superior look, to the other look of my hair that I had already done in the mirror.

I was hoping to wear uniquely, a style never worn; never to have it said that I was ever outdone... setting the trend with classiness, not a gimmick, but a leader on my own that others dreamed to mimic.

And now, the mirror I try to avoid. Reflecting back and my recollection of that age, only annoys me; Lol! That hair, my flair, flairs up, no where. But!  If I look a little closer, I know I’ll find it there. Ahhh, fixed memories...

When I was younger, I used to stay in the mirror!  :-)

GOD CAN

Who do you depend on when it seems everything you touch and do goes wrong? What do you do to keep motivated? When do you realize you need help or a backup plan? Where do you find hope and inspiration? Why would you say enough is enough… I GIVE UP?

Some of you may remember the five W’s …Who,  What, When, Where, Why and then there is How. Usually they apply to writing and journalism, but this application is about life!

In many aspects of our lives, at some point, we hit brick walls, get knocked off our feet, dumbfound and have no obvious explanation or answer for the delimma in which we find ourselves. Is that when we throw our hands up in despair? “Uh, Yea, we’re human”.  But just when you think you have no answer, you relinquish, release and let go and find the HOW.  

HE is the how in your life! He knows how to relieve the pain. He knows how to give you strength. He knows how to take your burdens.  He knows how to put the right words in your mouth when you’re face with what you consider unanswerable questions.  He knows how you will get that next meal, how you will get to work, how you will fare on that pending court date, how you will mend fences in your marriage, relationship, family dissension... So don't give up! He knows how and He Can!

Life reminds me how sweet it is to know that ‘God can’-

God can pick you up

When you’re lower than low

God can fight your battles

In struggles against the foe

God can renew that hope

When the little you had diminishes

God can complete the order and flow

from start to finish

God can allow you to exhale

when exhaustion overtakes you

God can mend the pieces

When disappointment tears apart and breaks you

He replenishes and renews your spirit

when you’ve fallen and cannot stand

This brings back to remembrance and

“It’s good to know, God can.”

Fresh Air

Children. Their innocence should be cherished. Children. We should not let innocence perish. 

How refreshing it is to hold a newborn baby... so tiny, so fragile, so delicate and soft to the touch. They are so innocent to the goings-on of horrific things in the world and sometimes in their immediate world. They did not come into your space by their choosing. Like an innocent bystander, they are the victims of their environment. As newborns, they are as fresh as the air we chose to inhale.

On a personal note, children are one of my weaknesses. I've always striven to uplift them, to uncover and expose their hidden talents, to encourage them to be even more than what they think they can be; yet, keep them in a box, a safe-haven whereas they wouldn't be subjected to the harsh reality of this world- kinda contradictory, huh? Lol

And as my own kids have grown beyond me immediately telling them how or what to do, I believe they respect the ideas I may still throw out for the grasping. Children are an extension of us. What do you see in the "little you's and little me's"? Don't we want to display OUR very best? Even when a child grows, I would still love to believe deeply embedded is their innocence and fresh take on life...  

The extension of my genes- grand children, is minute in number (only one), but gigantic in character! 

G-Whiz

My G-Baby n me

A fine combination, you see

I connect to him

he’s connected to me

An incognizant attachment

au-to-ma-tic-ally

Doesn't matter the distance

short, long, spo-ra-dic-ally

My G-baby n me

As a matter 'o fact you will see

that as time goes on

and as his growth responds

there will always reside

     a deep bond inside

No matter how many miles we are apart

we are deeply connected; undeniable

For when we get together

after being apart

for what seems like forever,

to a drum our two hearts will beat

To a love that will keep--

My G-baby with me

 My G-baby always n me

-PJ Payne

Pocket Change

Remember when 'one cent' was once spent! Nowadays a penny is barely used, unless as a last resort to make up the difference in a purchase. Usually a person uses it as TAX- that's what it's good for now.

As a child, can you remember when your daddy would give you his pocket-change, or when you were outside playing and you'd find a penny on the ground?  If you found a few of those, you'd think you were rich! Those were the 'simpler times.'  In today's fast-paced society, people actually just step over that lucky penny.
As times change, so does 'change' change. My own kids didn't like pocket change! "Too much trouble" states one of my sons, "too heavy in my pocket"! Therefore if I didn't find his change on the floor and pick it up, it would be lost. Oh, but as they've grown into young adults and are earning their living, they've changed their tune. Now that son can easily say "I got the tax"! Lol. They may still throw change aside, but eventually gather it in one place or container for those 'rainy days'.

Pondering over pocket change, I think about the penny, over the years that little copper coin has been referenced in may ways- mostly to describe something inexpensive or small. Here are a few Penny cliches I've heard:

A penny saved is a penny earned refers to the idea that saving money is just as important as earning it. According to thrifty savers, a penny saved will grow (when invested properly).
A penny pincher is someone who uses coupons and other saving tactics religiously — to the point of being fanatical about reducing costs, as with pinching your pennies which implies that the person is watching their spending; bargain hunting. 

If you’re experiencing a bad turn of events, then you might find yourself without two pennies to rub together. A common phrase muttered by those who tend to spend their money as soon as they get it.

On a different note. a pretty penny is used to explain how much something cost you, especially when that item was expensive or extravagant. 

And now I can say 'a penny for your thoughts' on all of this.What's your pocket change worth? I will quote the famous radio/television personality, Howard Stern, by saying "I am worth every penny"!

No Bartering

I wasn’t supposed to know. I wasn’t supposed to find out until now. I wasn’t supposed to know. This was about His timing and how-

He wanted me to grasp

He wanted me to ask

He wanted me to depend

He wanted me to defend

what HE stood for in my life

and when it was all said and done

He wanted me to know that

He was the One!

Not because ‘I’ did anything great,

so He would make life easier-

NO, He wanted me to be tried and tested.

He wanted me to know,

He was the One

who allowed me to evolve 

through these experiences

While being tossed to and fro

And learn lessons

in the midst of the strain,

but not in vain.

And as I come out of it and gain, 

I would grow

And just pay it forward,

as I go

God doesn’t make a deal. “God is the REAL DEAL”!

"I AM"

To know me is to love me for who I AM.

I AM a self-starter, but not a self-motivator, if that makes sense. I can start something new- "I mean just kick it off with a Big Bang", but I require outside motivation to keep it going. I'm like a cup of coffee, I start off quite hot, then as I cool off, I need to be refreshed and "stirred up" to keep me moving. I AM a lover of all, especially children, as I love their innocence, honesty and purity.  I AM naturally excitable and giggly anyway, so with my Cup 'o Joe, the sky is literally the limit!! Lol.

When an epiphany hits, I am fired up and in production mode. But when I get to a cooling off or stopping point, I can get stuck. The ideas stop flowing; the passion subsides; yes, the cause for which I am doing what I’m doing gets vague; like “and why am I doing this”?  That cause needs to be resurrected or revisited. Usually my initial intention is on target, I just get lost in transition. There is not always someone around to bounce my ideas off of or get me back on track. 

That’s when I exhale with my brew. In  an aura of serenity, surrounded by the things I love, making sure there is always a pen nearby… I write.

I AM blessed!

And I guess I realized it

but never said it 

with such credence before

I  AM blessed!

When I relax

I open my mind to

opened doors.

When I enter in

no telling what’s coming out.

There I can figure

What I am all about

And in retrospect

Let it all

Pour out

I AM blessed!

Got ideas to spare

When stirred up

and when used

I know I’m going somewhere

And yield blessings 

to someone else

I may require a little 'stirring' sometimes, 

but to know me is to love me for who I AM.